Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Have you ever gotten together with an old friend after years and years of the world passing you by.

Nothing in particular happened to your friendship. 

It just slipped away into school, differing life stages, children, different social activities...

But, when you have your long over due reunion...

it is just heavenly?

For some odd reason, God keeps bringing people from the past back into my life, and I am incredibly grateful for that gift.

Last night I had the pleasure of experiencing that gift once again.

What a wonderful night. 

I cant believe how quickly we were "no holds barred" honest with each other. 

What a blessing it was!

One thing that I cant get out of my head, was our discussion on friendship patterns.

Who are you repetitively picking to be your friends? Do you have a type of person that you seem to be "attracted" to friendship wise?
And, why? Why do you pick those people?

I have realized, that just because I have already picked my mate for life, doesn't exclude me from from making poor relationship choices.

Some women are attracted to a certain type of man when they are looking for their mate... 

I need to assess what I am attracted to in a friendship. 

 How much of myself am I giving? VS. What kind of energy are they bringing into the relationship?

Are they always coming into the relationship with sadness, despair, chaos? 
Or, are they bringing productivity, conviction, joy, peace?

I am not saying that my friends have to be perfect, on the contrary! I love wackiness, quirks, and honesty in a relationship.

I have many friends that fit this description, but I also find myself gravitating towards certain personalities because I am a "fixer" and nurturer. 

After all the "fixing" and nurturing... I am emotionally and spiritually exhausted.

And that isn't fair to my husband and son.

So, my duty in all of this, is to be keenly aware of who I am choosing to expend my emotional and spiritual energy and to be a good steward of myself. 

Do any of you struggle with this? Or find yourself picking the same type of friends over and over? 
What have you done to work through this? I want to know.

PS. Thanks for letting me ramble and get somethings off of my chest.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Thank You.

Thank you to all of you who have been praying for me!

I finished my Self-Study today! 

24 Pages!!!

Glory, Glory, Hallelujah!!!

I cant not believe that it is DONE!

All that soul searching, gut wrenching truth poured on to paper...

 I realized while proof reading... This sucker is my Manifesto!

I wish I could share it with you all, but I am pretty sure no one would find it interesting. 

But other than that I want to sing it from the mountain tops that I am DONE!


Music Monday

The Hubby and I had a fabulous weekend! 

For our anniversary we went out to a nice dinner at Captain Jacks and watched a movie...
Oh, wait. Did I mention that we got Tattoos?!?!
 Yep, we sure did. We are some wild and crazy kids, huh?

Even as I sat in the tattoo chair... I kept looking at Eric and saying over and over, 
"I cant believe I am doing this."

Ray (the tattoo guy) must have thought I was nuts.  

Whatever.. I was in pain.

 While waiting for Ray to finish up tattooing Eric, I was texting my girlfriend Linda, who happens to be married to a Pastor at our church, telling her all about my tattoo. 
Ray asked me who I was texting. 
He about fell off his stool when I told him who I was texting. 

I told him that there were people with more tattoos than him at our church. 

He was shocked. 

And I was proud that our church is the kind of church that welcomes ALL kinds of people into its doors.

I felt joy in knowing  that I could invite him and know without a shadow of a doubt that he would be embraced, not looked down upon. 

I love my church

So... here are some pictures of our tattoos. 
(Please forgive me. I took these with my phone.)
 (This isn't a really good picture of it at all... But you get the idea.)

It is an antique key and in the head of it is the inscription PS 46:10

This has been a verse that has been following me around 
and has been on my heart throughout the past few years.

I put it on my wrist to be a constant visible symbol reminding me to
"cool it" and recognize that God is in charge. 


Apparently I am a slow learner and am just recently understanding the whole depth and breadth of that promise.

(Obviously this is Eric's tattoo... I don't have nicely sculpted arms like him.)

These Roman Numerals represent our wedding date. 

He says that if he gets Alzheimer's he will always remember the date...
even thought he might think it's his birthday.

Which brings me to Music Monday...
The song I picked for today follows the wedding theme.
This is our song.
The song that we had our first dance to as a Mr. and Mrs. 
This song has always spoken volumes to us about our relationship.

Al Green's 'Let's Stay Together'
I'm, I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do
Is alright with me
'Cause you make me feel, so brand new
And I want to spend my life with you

Me sayin' since, baby, since we've been together
Ooo, loving you forever
Is what I need
Let me, be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue
Ooo baby

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Oooo oooo ooo ooo, yeah
Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad

Why somebody, why people break up
Oh, and turn around and make up
I just can't seeeeeeeee
You'd never do that to me
(Would you baby)
'Cause being around you is all I see
It's why I want us to

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether

PS. I adore his HUGE gold bracelet and plaid jacket. 

PPS. What was your song that you first danced with your spouse to at your wedding?
If you aren't married, what song speaks to you as a couple?

I want to know more about you!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Super Random

Here are a few things that are floating around in my head...

1: It's my ANNIVERSARY! 
Good gracious! I need to get back on the Atkins diet!
We have been married for 6 years today!
I know it may sound corny, but I truly do love him more than I did the day that this picture was taken. 

2:We are going out to celebrate...

By going out to dinner and getting tattoos..
 Well, we will see if it actually comes to fruition. 
But, we made inquiries to a couple of places and it is a first come first served type of deal.
And every time the mister and I go out, he gets a the crazy idea that we need to get tattoos... 

So here we are... maybe realizing his dream and sowing a wild oat or two.

3. I will be starting a book discussion of Francis Chan's, "Crazy Love".
I will be holding it in my backyard on Tuesday evenings @ 7:00pm. Starting in 2 weeks. 
Let me know if you are interested! I love it when God brings random people together for spectacular moments... 

So, no one is too random.

4. I have weddings on the brain.
Picture courtesy of Sweet & Saucy Bake Shop
One of my B.F.F.s is getting married and I cant stop thinking about weddings and how to make her day more special. 

What did you do at your wedding to make the day more personal and special to you and your groom?
Or, if there is one thing that you could go back in time and re-do, to make the day even more yours, what would that be?

I am beyond curious!

Hoping everyone is have a fabulous Saturday!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Writer's Block

I am currently in the middle of writing a Self Study. 

Not my idea of a super fun time.

I do believe that self-reflection and personal inventories are a must when there is room for emotional and spiritual growth... 

but.... on a beautiful sunny southern California day... not my cup of tea.

Alas, the adoption agency wants Eric and I to each complete a self study.

Here are a few examples of what the questions are like...
- Briefly explain the events and experiences in your life that you feel have shaped your personality.
-What was the biggest disappointment or loss you have experienced in your life and how did you cope with it?
-Describe the values, traditions, and expectations you feel your parents attempted to instill in you.
-Describe your parent's relationship to each other while you were growing up and currently.
-What role does your physical relationship play in your marriage?
-What are your priorities when you spend money? Do you have guidelines that you use when making purchases? Do you and your spouse agree on this?
-How will your parenting resemble/differ from that of your parents?
-Do you have any concerns about bonding with your adoptive child?


And this is only a FEW of the questions that are posed to us... 

Now, these questions may seem easy to those who were brought up in Ward and June Cleaver's household, but for the rest of us... not so much.

So, please forgive me if I am quiet on here for a bit... I will be racking my heart/brain/soul for some pretty gnarly answers, and I don't think I will have it in me to post here. 

Please pray for Eric and I to dig deep and answer honestly.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day

Today has always been a bit of a reflective day for me...

For most of my life I have always wondered why I didn't get to have a father. 
(I never even met the man that I should have called "dad".)

But in the past few years I have turned that thought upside down and became increasingly grateful that God spared me from that relationship. 

He knew better... duh.

God has been all the Father I have needed....

Always having my best interests at heart
and most of all, unconditional forgiveness for all the numskull things I do.

I am privileged that I had the perfect father.

Most people don't get to say that.

My mother is one of them...

Her father was...


 She always had the heavenly father that I did, but most people (and her) think/thought that God is a direct reflection of their earthly dads.

Unfortunately she had a lot to mentally overcome in realizing that God is none of that.

But, fortunately for her, she has.

She knows who HE is now and can have a relationship with Him based upon the truth. 

Another blessing that I get to reflect upon is that I get to watch my husband be the father I wish I always had.
He is kind
Hard working

I relish the fact that Wyatt will never know a relationship like his Grandmother knew, or the absence that I felt.

He will never know that ache.

He will never feel that void.

He will only have a best friend for life.

What a healing blessing that is to me. 

Happy Father's Day

Monday, June 7, 2010


I am so emotionally exhausted after an amazing (and I do mean that, in every sense of the word) weekend with my committee ladies in Lake Arrowhead.

My head is still swirling with all the fresh new ideas, personal stories, tears, laughter, jokes, and advice.

And all the GOD moments...

You know, the ones where you could not have planned it any better 
and everything just seemed to flow (inspite of me).

I am in awe of what happened up there.

So, I am speechless.

Not for a lack of words....

as a necessity to help me process all that happened there.

*   *   *   *

So this Music Monday I will share with you an oldie but a goodie
that ALWAYS makes me happy.

(And I day dream that I am having a fabulous party when I listen to it.)

Marvin Gaye
Got to Give it Up

I used to go out to parties and stand around
'Cause I was too nervous to really get down
But my body yearned to be free
I got up on the floor, boy
so somebody could choose me.

No more standin' there beside the walls
I have got myself together, baby
I'm havin' a ball

Long as you're groovin'
There's always a chance
Somebody watchin' might wanna make romance

Move your body, ooo baby,
And dance all night
Do that grooving’
Feel all right

Everybody's groovin' on like a fool
But if you see me spread out and let me in
Baby just party high and low
Let me step into your erotic zone

Move it up
Turn it down
Shake it down


You can love me when you want to babe
This is such a groovy party baby
We're here face to face
Everybody's swingin'
This is such a groovy place

All the young ladies are so fine!

You're movin your body easy with no doubt
Know what you thinkin' baby
You want to turn me out
Think I'm gonna let you do it babe

Keep on dancin'
You got to get it
Got to give it up