Monday, May 31, 2010

Music Monday

Happy Memorial Day Everyone!

Whatever political party you "belong" to, I bet we can all agree that America is a pretty spectacular place to live.

 I feel so blessed that I get to call this country my home.

I think a lot of other people think so too.... 
 I heard on NPR the other day that America welcomes twice the amount of immigrants into its borders than all the other countries welcome into their borders, combined. 

I was floored. 

I felt immense gratitude...

For the freedoms that we have.
For the free speech that I get to enjoy without even thinking about it.
That I can raise my child how I see fit.
I can worship God without political oppression.

None of this would be possible with out all of the men and women that have served this great nation. 

I personally count them as a blessing...

Which brings me to Music Monday...
I had in my head that I was gonna do something patriotic... But I heard this song on the radio and was BLOWN AWAY...
I think it is so beautiful that they took the time to pour their gratitude into a song and perform it for all the world to hear.
I also find it refreshing that in a world of negativity and general crabbiness, that they would put this out there.
Whatever you feel towards these Artist's personal blessing list... just remember that it is their list. 

This isn't my list... (even though I appreciate the sentiment and adore the message). 

This, in my opinion, is supposed to spur us on to create our own blessing list.


And I’ve got studios to voice in
And I’ve got news for rejoicing
Now a new sun is rising
I count my blessings
That I’m safe when I’m resting
Furniture in my nesting
Not by force
I’m suggesting
You count your blessings
I’ve got love and assurance
I’ve got new heath insurance
I’ve got strength and endurance
So I count my blessings
And give thanks to the master
That through all the disaster
We’re still here
Together after
Better count your blessings
VERSE 1 – NAS:
Count your blessings
Cause yo’
This year
Can’t wait ‘till he gets here
7/21/09
My first son will shine
And it’s amazing
I’m about to be raising
Another made man
And like his dad
They’ll praise him
And some will hate him
Just cause we’re building a nation
Like Bob did with Damian
The world will embrace him
Girls will chase him
Foresee they will not break him
And when I’m not around
You look for God
And thank him
CHORUS 2 – JR GONG:
And I’ve got somewhere to dress for
And I’ve got no need to stress for
And so I’ll always put my best forth
And count my blessings
And there’ll be no need for tissues
Cause there’ll be no further issues
If you’ve got someone who miss you
Man count your blessings
And I’ve got love and assurance
And I’ve got new heath insurance
And I’ve got strength and endurance
So I count my blessings
And give thanks to the master
That through all the disaster
We’re still here
Together after
Better count your blessings
VERSE 2 – NAS:
You’re wishing
You were sitting
In the top position
Picture perfect
Nothing less cause you deserve it
Without the Hermes
You never hurting
You knew that you was
Destined for greatness
For certain
But see the over zealous
They be thirsting
Caught up in emotion
You’re keeping your composure
Like Gershwin
Songs by Earth, Wind
Keep you in a zone
Writing verses
So when your pocket’s light
Know that you have a heavy purpose
CHORUS 3 – JR GONG:
We’ve got pre-school and day care
We’ve got pension and well-fare
And though not all will play the game fair
Still I count my blessings
I’ve got joy in abundance
I’ve got life full of substance
I’ve got meetings and functions
So I count my blessings
I’ve got something to live for
I’ve got surplus to give more
And we’re all welcome through his door
So I count my blessings
And give thanks to the master
That through all the disaster
We’re still here
Together after
So I count your blessings
VERSE 3 – NAS:
I think you’re looking too hard for it
Want the double R
Under your garage door
Appreciate the things you work hard for
And count your blessing
Count your blessings
So don’t be mad if you ain’t fly ya’ll
You got the means
To reach the level I’m on
You should know that there’s only one Nas
Ya’ll
But count your blessing
Count your blessing
Ra!
CHORUS 4 – JR GONG:
And I’ve got studios to voice in
And I’ve got news for rejoicing
Now a new son is rising
I count my blessings
That I’m safe when I’m resting
Furniture in my nesting
Not by force
I’m suggesting
You count your blessings
I’ve got love and assurance
I’ve got new heath insurance
I’ve got strength and endurance
So I count my blessings
And give thanks to the master
That through all the disaster
We’re still here
Together after
Better count your blessings


Friday, May 28, 2010

5 on Friday

I was driving around running some errands today and was thinking about all my favorite people, places, and things...  and thought I would jot them down.

Not that anyone cares...

I just want to get them out of my head and onto here so I can turn this brain off and take a nap.

First:  This is Brooklyn. She is my future Daughter-in-law... which is handy because my hubby and I are B.F.F.s with her mother and father.

She will be turning 3 this weekend and we cant wait to celebrate with her!

Not only that... She is the prettiest, spunkiest, funniest, most imaginative little girl I have ever met... 

And the fact that my son is in love with her doesn't hurt.

 Exhibit A:  The Culprit trying to give his "Book-a-lyn" a "hug".
(I put "hug" in parentheses because his pants are off and I really don't know what he is trying to pull.)

Second: I love that when I tell my son to do something, he proudly responds "OKAY CAPTAIN MOMMY!"

I like the ring of "Captain Mommy". I'm not gonna lie.


 Third: This place is so flippin' good. 

I don't really have a thing for sweets... but I sure do have a thing for fresh homemade baked goods. And they sure are fresh and delicious!


Fourth: To say that I adore my MOMs group is  putting it mild at best.

I have such a passion and fire in my heart for these women. I pray for them daily.

 I consider it pure joy to be heading it up next year with my amazing committee. 

Fifth: This makes returning e-mails and working in the office so much fun and less of a chore.

Let's be honest... Most of the time I am singing off key or rapping... depending on what station I choose.

It isn't pretty.

Be grateful that you haven't witnessed it.







Happy Friday Everyone!!!



                                                            

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Music Tuesday???

So... I am here on Tuesday... begging you to forgive me.

I have been listening to Morning Becomes Eclectic exclusively for about a year now. I made the switch because my previous morning music show had become far too raunchy for this household... I would like to blame it on Wyatt's little ears, but it really was because of me. My stomach would start turning when they would talk about spouses cheating, developmentally disabled people in a VERY negative light, porn, and drug use.

I kinda felt like an old lady, but I really like how I feel in the morning now...

Instead of cringing... I dance with my little guy.

So, on KCRW the other day they were playing Jack Johnson and it reminded me of an interview I once heard him give... the interview made me love him more.
(I know he is adorable, right?)

He was talking about one of his most popular songs, "Flake". I already really liked it...I thought it was a bit deeper than the typical boy/girl break-up song.

But he elaborated... That this song was a song that he wrote for a MALE friend of his... I was blown away! 

He had felt so frustrated by a friendship that was dissipating that he wrote the song about his friend. His record label really didn't like the idea of him writing a friendship song to a guy (go figure) and asked him to change the he's into she's.

I was so impressed that he felt so deeply about this male friendship that he poured his heart into a song. Also, it gave the song new meaning in my life... I knew exactly of a relationship(s) that I could apply the song to...and you know what? 

It helped me move on and embrace what the relationship was/is for what it is now, not dwell in the past and hold it up to previous standards.

You see, I have an expectation problem... I hold the expectations stagnant in time while the person evolves. And through my personal experience... it has never turned out well. So, I am working on appreciating the different phases of the friendship for what they are... not what they were or should be (in my head).

So, here it is... Flake.
 
  I know she said it's alright
But you can make it up next time
I know she knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe maybe she thinks its fine
Maybe she knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down

I know she loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes
And I know that when she said she's gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know she usually has some other ties
And I wouldn't want to break 'em, nah, I wouldn't want to break 'em
Maybe she'll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I'm gonna have to lie to you

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go

(Ben Solo's)

The harder that you try baby, the further you'll fall
Even with all your money in the whole wide world
Please please please don't pass me
Please please please don't pass me
Please please please don't pass me by

Everything you know about me now baby you gonna have to change
You goin to call it by a brand new name
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me down

Just like your tree down by the water baby I shall not move
Even after all your silly things you do-oo
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me down 

oops...

My little guy's birthday was yesterday and I forgot to post Music Monday! Yikes! 

Seriously, I wont be offended if you all fire me.

But, before you do...

Look at this...














I know it is kinda blurry... but these are my favorite excuses for not posting...

We started the day by getting finger printed and our background checked in some random hole in the wall in Signal Hill. This was an unexpected expense in the whole adoption procedure...but my kind and very generous Momma gave this to Eric and I for our birthday present... 

In her words, "I want to help buy my grandchild."
Isn't she amazing? Love her!

Then we stumbled upon Rocco's, the most delicous and unassuming place to eat for lunch... We knew it had to be good, it was packed at 1:30pm. Seriously, you will be thanking me after you go there.

After that we headded to Disneyland to clebrate Wyatt's 3rd birthday... SO much fun!

This picture was taken at Napolini restaurant with my two guys.

I am so blessed... I just want to pinch myself sometimes.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

My Boyfriend

      My boyfriend of 11.5 yrs turns 29 today.
 (I know we are married and I should call him my hubby...but I don't want to.)

He is amazing, kind, caring, compassionate, smart... and HOT.

I am still a shallow 16yr old at heart when I look at him... I still feel the pitter patter in my heart for him.


We still celebrate our dating anniversary...much to the dismay of some of our friends who think that we are   "nerds".

I cant wait to see what the next 11.5 years brings us...

And I cant wait to see if he gets gray hair. (SO FLIPPIN HOT)

Friday, May 21, 2010

Two for One...

I am sick and tired of myself...

I am so tired of being full of fear...

I realized that my fear of failure is paralyzing me and my family's journey.

I also have realized that I only fear what I haven't given over to God.

I am so SICK of it.

I am hindering my family's future, my spiritual life, and connections with others because I like to pretend that I am in control.

A few weeks ago I went to the Beth Moore simulcast and listened to her talk about saying, "So Long to Insecurities". I really thought that I had nothing to learn because I thought I was a pretty secure person....

BOY WAS I WRONG!!!

I realized that all the places in my life where I am stagnant and feel uneasy are all the ones I have yet to surrender.

See, it would be one thing to say... "We are still seeking to see if this whole adoption thing is for us."
The problem is is that I already know what the answer is... I am supposed to go on this journey regardless of the outcome .... I know in my heart of hearts that I desire nothing else to be someone's mom.... But, I am also petrified to find out that we (Eric and I) aren't good enough... (IE, don't make enough money or have a big enough house). I am so scared my heart will be broken that I am dragging my feet on every little thing.

In my crazy twisted head it makes sense that it is better to say, "We are in the beginning stages of adoption" than say, "The agency didn't see us fit."

The conundrum is ... I am going to experience God's will anyway... so either I will go kicking and screaming (like I have been doing) ... or sweetly singing his praises and accepting whatever He has in store for me.

And with this whole blog thing... I am totally being controlling... am  picking and choosing who I want to tell about it... Which I know isn't what I am supposed to do. I feel like I need to share with people even though they may not care. I just have to be me and be vulnerable.

Because I don't like who I am when I am not allowing myself to be authentic.


So, here is a belated Music Monday...

Have you ever listened to a song and got a sinking feeling in your chest... and you know that it was meant for you to hear at that exact moment?

This is one of the songs I have experienced this feeling with...

 
i surrender all
to the promises you made
and i will give it all
to the maker of the day

no one knows your heart
and no one knows your fears
when no one solves the mysteries
or even wipes away the tears

i surrender all
to the promises you made
and i will give it all
to the maker of the day

can you hear the sound of laughter
from the other side of life?
there are days when i feel like a stranger sometimes
tell me, are there any other fools like me?

i surrender all
to the promises you made
and i will give it all
to the maker of the day

this reliance on another world
has a great effect on this world
this conscience of another world
has a great effect on
grace recollection

he doesn't love us 'cause of who we are
he only loves us 'cause of who he is
he doesn't love us 'cause of who we are
he only loves us 'cause of who he is

i surrender all
(he doesn't love us 'cause of who we are)
to the promises you made
(he only loves 'cause of who he is)
and i will give it all
(he doesn't love us 'cause of who we are)
to the maker of the day
 
 

Monday, May 10, 2010

Oops.....

I am a bad blogger...

I had it all planned out that I was going to post more last week and have a Music Monday all ready for you...

Alas, I had a fabulous week and an even more fabulous weekend and I accomplished none of my blogging goals.

In case you haven't forgiven me yet, I have one more "card" to pull.

It's my BIRTHDAY!!!



I never grew out of thinking that I got a whole birthday week... I think this year it has morphed into 2 weeks...

Want to know how I accomplish this without breaking the bank??? (well, I'm gonna tell you anyways.)
Every event or get together that I go to, that I think is fun... I claim it for my self.

Example:
Friday: Random happy hour with friends and kids... MY BIRTHDAY HAPPY HOUR!

Saturday:
Morning: My hubby and two dear friends we baptized and then had a lunch to follow.... AMBER'S BIRTHDAY BAPTISM!

Evening: Brother-in Law's college graduation party.... MY RANDOM PEOPLE BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Now.. If you can believe it, I crammed a birthday nap, birthday mani-pedi, birthday breakfast, and birthday church service in there too...

Yes, I am delusional and a bit neurotic... but I don't think I am a narcissist based upon the fact that I never informed anyone of said delusions of grandeur...... I just acted as if.......

And if I do say so myself, it made the weekend go from above average to SUBLIME!

It was a wonderful weekend. Filled with people I love with all my heart. What more could I ask??

Today I will attend a meeting for my MOMs group at a favorite stomping ground.

Then I will be off to The Happiest Place on Earth with my two most favorite people!
                                                

Monday, May 3, 2010

Music Monday

I need structure... 

That being said I am instituting a Music Monday here on Faux Martha (PS, I still hate the name and you all are not off the hook in helping me pick a new one).

Either I will post a You Tube Video of a song or just post the lyrics... and give my P.O.V. on the whole thing..

Now, I am not saying that I will give any insight into the artist or have any clever thoughts... but simply represent me.

I love music... All kinds... I love music so much that listening to it has great impact on me and my emotions.

I totally believe that God speaks through music in my life... I know, here I go again with that whole God thing. 

But, I have had some AMAZING moments with Him, thanks to having the right song playing at the right time....

Like, pull over your car and put your head on the steering wheel and cry moments... or moments where you drop everything you are doing and go grab the nearest human/animal and have a full out dance party. 

So, with out further adieu..

 
***
 Head Over Feet
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault 
****
Okay... Today is a lighter post because I really have no idea what and how I am going to do this whole Music Monday thing... So I am posting a song that is VERY near and dear to my heart. I know that it may seem mushy and corny to post this song... but ALL the lyrics that I have high-lighted are straight from my heart. 

Like, I have no idea how she knew about Eric and I. (Yes, I  am self-centered enough to toy with the idea.)

Eric and I have been married for almost 6 years and together for 11 1/2.... we started dating in utero... I kid, I kid... kinda.

But I am grateful everyday that we met so young. I count it as a blessing that I have known my soul mate for a good portion of my life. 

I have had many people ask me if I feel like I have "missed out" that I haven't dated more or wish I would have had more experience...

 The answer is no.

I am relieved that this man came into my life at such an early age... He has been nothing but a blessing to me and my family. 

I have had the pleasure of watching him grow from an above average boy to an excellent man. We have grown together and into each other...

I am not saying that we have only experienced pure bliss in this relationship... We have had our moments, weeks, and during the harder portions...months.

But we would rather be together in frustration, misunderstanding, and pain than to be separate from each other...

Without him I would never have let my guard down enough to love as deeply as I do... I am confident in that.

Last year for a Valentine's Day present,  I painted a canvas black and then painted all the lyrics to this song on it. I know he loved it...He teared up... and told me that he had never really listened to the lyrics before, but now that he had... 
He thought that this was the best compliment I had ever paid him.

And that was payment enough for me.