Therapy

Is it strange that I fantasize about going to therapy?

I honestly do.

I tell my hubby quite frequently that I can't wait to get rich and go to therapy.

(Because in my mind, we have to be rich for me to go... Strange? I think so.)

I would love to sit on a couch like this and pick through my issues, my past, my present...

and see if there are patterns to acknowledge.

"Stuff" to heal from.

But as soon as I say that to myself, I can feel a tugging in my heart from God saying,

"You can talk to me."

"You better believe I will point some gnarly stuff out... I can heal you."

Then I go and have my quiet time with Him...

and my therapy fantasy isn't so tempting anymore.

Since I am poor, (too poor for my therapy fantasy) my therapy is

Cooking!!! 

 I don't think I have mentioned that on here...

I LOVE cooking... It is one of my passions.

And so, for this holiday weekend I will leave you with two of my favorite recipes...

hoping that you will love them too!

White Wine Citrus Sangria

(adapted from Micheal Chiarello)

3 Bottles of Pinot Grigio

1 1/2 Cups Brandy

3/4 cup Orange Liqueur

1/2 cup Sugar

1 Orange, thinly sliced

1 Blood Orange, thinly sliced

3 Kumquats, sliced

1 Lime, thinly sliced

(If you cant find blood oranges or kumquats,  i have used peaches or strawberries.)

In a large pitcher, combine the wine, brandy, and orange liqueur. Pour in the sugar, stir or shake the pitcher thoroughly to mix. Add all citrus slices at once. Allow the mixture to sit for 1 hr before serving to allow the citrus flavor to come through.

Asian Glazed Boneless Ribs

Ingredients:

2lbs Boneless Country Style Pork Ribs

Glaze:

2/3 Cup Hoisin Sauce

1/4 Cup Pineapple Juice

2 Tbsp of Soy Sauce

2 Tbsp Rice Vinegar

2 Tbsp Sesame Oil

1/2 tsp Fresh Ginger, minced

1 Garlic clove (for each rib), minced

In a small bowl, combine all glaze ingredients; blend well. Heat oven to 350 F. Place ribs in a 13x9 baking dish. Bake for 1 hour. Drain. Pour glaze over ribs, covering completely. Bake and additional 30 to 45 minutes or until ribs are tender, basting occasionally with glaze.

(This is a very economical and easy dish... Country style pork ribs are inexpensive and are sold at Sam's Club (I haven't checked Costco for them) in a large pack. You can divide it up and freeze the other portion and make it for another dinner.)

Another note... I have stuffed more than 2lbs in a 13x9... Just make sure the pan isn't too over crowded  and there is a small space between ribs.

I promise these recipes are fool proof and have been made SEVERAL times by yours truly!

Enjoy!

Music Monday

The Hubby and I had a fabulous weekend! 

For our anniversary we went out to a nice dinner at Captain Jacks and watched a movie...

Oh, wait. Did I mention that we got Tattoos?!?!

 Yep, we sure did. We are some wild and crazy kids, huh?

Even as I sat in the tattoo chair... I kept looking at Eric and saying over and over, 

"I cant believe I am doing this."

Ray (the tattoo guy) must have thought I was nuts.  

Whatever.. I was in pain.

 While waiting for Ray to finish up tattooing Eric, I was texting my girlfriend Linda, who happens to be married to a Pastor at our church, telling her all about my tattoo. 

Ray asked me who I was texting. 

He about fell off his stool when I told him who I was texting. 

I told him that there were people with more tattoos than him at our church. 

He was shocked. 

And I was proud that our church is the kind of church that welcomes ALL kinds of people into its doors.

I felt joy in knowing  that I could invite him and know without a shadow of a doubt that he would be embraced, not looked down upon. 

I love my church. 

So... here are some pictures of our tattoos. 

(Please forgive me. I took these with my phone.)

t

 (This isn't a really good picture of it at all... But you get the idea.)

It is an antique key and in the head of it is the inscription PS 46:10

This has been a verse that has been following me around 

and has been on my heart throughout the past few years.

I put it on my wrist to be a constant visible symbol reminding me to

"cool it" and recognize that God is in charge. 

NOT ME! 

Apparently I am a slow learner and am just recently understanding the whole depth and breadth of that promise.

(Obviously this is Eric's tattoo... I don't have nicely sculpted arms like him.)

These Roman Numerals represent our wedding date. 

He says that if he gets Alzheimer's he will always remember the date...

even thought he might think it's his birthday.

Which brings me to Music Monday...

The song I picked for today follows the wedding theme.

This is our song.

The song that we had our first dance to as a Mr. and Mrs. 

This song has always spoken volumes to us about our relationship.

Al Green's 'Let's Stay Together'

I'm, I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do
Is alright with me
'Cause you make me feel, so brand new
And I want to spend my life with you

Me sayin' since, baby, since we've been together
Ooo, loving you forever
Is what I need
Let me, be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue
Ooo baby

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Oooo oooo ooo ooo, yeah
Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad

Why somebody, why people break up
Oh, and turn around and make up
I just can't seeeeeeeee
You'd never do that to me
(Would you baby)
'Cause being around you is all I see
It's why I want us to

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether

PS. I adore his HUGE gold bracelet and plaid jacket. 

PPS. What was your song that you first danced with your spouse to at your wedding?

If you aren't married, what song speaks to you as a couple?

I want to know more about you!

Father's Day

Today has always been a bit of a reflective day for me...

For most of my life I have always wondered why I didn't get to have a father. 

(I never even met the man that I should have called "dad".)

But in the past few years I have turned that thought upside down and became increasingly grateful that God spared me from that relationship. 

He knew better... duh.

God has been all the Father I have needed....

Unconditional

Kind

Loving

Wise

Always having my best interests at heart

Funny

Strict

and most of all, unconditional forgiveness for all the numskull things I do.

I am privileged that I had the perfect father.

Most people don't get to say that.

My mother is one of them...

Her father was...

Conditional

Cruel

Frustrating

Angry

Womanizer

Workaholic

 She always had the heavenly father that I did, but most people (and her) think/thought that God is a direct reflection of their earthly dads.

Unfortunately she had a lot to mentally overcome in realizing that God is none of that.

But, fortunately for her, she has.

She knows who HE is now and can have a relationship with Him based upon the truth. 

Another blessing that I get to reflect upon is that I get to watch my husband be the father I wish I always had.

He is kind

Hard working

Loving

Unconditional

Strict

Playful

Positive

Protective

Joyful

I relish the fact that Wyatt will never know a relationship like his Grandmother knew, or the absence that I felt.

He will never know that ache.

He will never feel that void.

He will only have a best friend for life.

What a healing blessing that is to me. 

Happy Father's Day

Crazy and Blessed

Sooo I have been M.I.A lately.... here is the run down...

1. On April 15th, Thursday  afternoon we found my Grandma collapsed and too weak. Super dehydrated too...
2. Thursday evening she collapsed and went unconscious in my dear hubby's arms.
3. Spent most of the night in the E.R.
4. Found out it was pneumonia, her labs were all wacky, congestive heart failure, and dehydration. 
5. Spent most of my days and nights shuttling my Grandpa back and forth to the hospital to see his sweetheart and caring for him at night (he has Alzheimer's).
6. Grandma went into a convalescent home to rehabilitate her self so she can be well enough to come home.
7. She came home Monday April 26th. 

During these days I oscillated between...

and

But the good news is, I was more of the latter...

The only reason I spent most (not all) of my days and nights at peace is because of my relationship with God.

(yes, I am gonna talk about Him.)

Because this was the first time in my adult life that God and I were B.F.F. s before the crap hit the fan.

And it was fabulous.

Maybe some people wouldn't admit this but God and I had a very conditional relationship for most of my life... it went something like this

Amber + Crap = THISCLOSEWITHGOD

Amber + Happy = F O  R  G  E  T  S    T  O    T  A  L  K    T  O     H  I  M

So, this time.. I had been working on my spiritual formation (fancy words for talking to Him and refining my character). Doing devotions most everyday and writing my prayers down (I have A.D.D. and every shiny thing distracts me). 

And the most amazing thing happened... I was at peace for most of it and I was aware of all the immense blessing that were occurring in my life. 

Now, I know that these blessings weren't simply occurring because He and I were B.F.Fs.... No, I was aware of them because I wasn't working double time to get back to him and trying to figure out or control the situation... then half way through it  I would realize that I wasn't in control and then I would have to pry my hands open and release to Him what ever piece of trash I was hanging on to.....

I could actually be present in the moment with my Grandmother... 

I could appreciate how well my son was behaving and how sensitive he was to my emotions...

I could see how beautiful my husband is... inside and out...

I had more compassion for my Grandfather....

I had more empathy for my Grandmother....

I trusted God more...

I saw love...

This has been one of the hardest, most exhausting things I have ever gone through.

But, I would never give up this experience.

It has been so bitter sweet... bitter in the sense that I am watching my Grandparents (who have helped my Mom raise me) start on their path of exiting this world....

Sweet, in the sense that I have had the blessing and the pleasure of walking with God and being aware of His presence along the way.